💙💜8 month twinnies! 💜💙

     Milestones after milestones!

They are so close to crawling, it will be any day now! They sit up like it's no big deal. They say mama and dada and I swear Callie calls Gran, "Nan" which is too cute. (I also have her on video telling Lucy, "nononononono") 

They love bath time, they love eating and of course- they love Lucy. She is entertaining to no end and cannot keep her hands off of them. She is determined to teach them how to crawl with teamwork... so that's how that's going....haha! They are going to be a great team, here's hoping we are all on the same team. 

And...drumroll please!!!! They sleeeeeeeeeeeep. Glorious, gloroius sleep. It's like a whole new house over here! Callie is using a pack and play in the living room, to be sure no one is waking anyone else up (although that was never their problem...) and I turn the monitors waaaay down- so they have to be super upset to wake me up- and this works. It's not in any parenting books to ignore your babies.... but honestly- after I let them figure it out the first night, they self soothe and hardly get up at all! We will keep it this way until it doesnt work! 
I cannot believe it took me 8 months to draw the line and demand my sleep but it's helped all around. They nap better during the day, we wake them up in the morning and they are pleasant! I took the humidifier back, returned the weighted sleep sacks and moved the diffuser back to where it was. And life is good. zzzzzzzz

       Eight months is when I start thinking about them being a year old and I get so sad. Then I calculated how old I'll be when they get to kindergarten and I know it' s okay that they are my last babies, haha! (39 by the way) And I start planning their birthday party, which is going to be sooooo cute!!! (We already have the photo shoot planned and scheduled!) I am so excited about the theme and how we are making it happen!!!

    BUT FIRST! We have Spring Break plans and we are about to go to the beach!! Babies and the beach, what could be better?!?
***Edit, we had spring break plans and this virus business is ruining everything. I cannot just NOT go do things- this may kill me.*** 

      I'm getting rid of their little baby stuff, with a tear in my eye and ideas in my head about what to do with the space we will have. We are also talking about donating our embryos, which is super exciting. I am so happy to be able to help other couples bring some super, really, totally adorable babies into this world if it works out for them. In my mind, we need to use our funds for our sweet babies at home rather than try and see if maybe IVF might work again. We are on the positive side of 3 healthy kids, with two babies that will never be. I also know that I could just not handle another failed transfer. Having two successes and one failure- and the chances of IVF are 50% success- I don't know that anyone can explain the feelings that come with that experience......

So all of my hopes and joys go into our three precious sweeties. 

     With the amazing new routine of actually sleeping at night....comes the energy (although it feels like an expectation) to exercise and lose weight. I was doing so well to prepare my body for IVF- although it turns out that had nothing to do with the result of the transfer. I cannot think of a better motivation than babies! But now, I feel huge. Then there is also the fact that my hormones and the way my body works makes losing weight hard. It made making babies impossible without intervention- but we made that happen, right? So here's hoping that eventually, I am able to maybe get back to where I was before I got pregnant. I really loved the excuse of being pregnant though.... but we know how body image is portrayed and how people are treated based on their body shape and weight and it just kills me to have other people use that to determine opportunities and how people are treated. That is the world we live in though. I wish I could just say, "who cares what others think" but its not just what others think, its about how others treat you and what opportunities are available based on how others perceive you. And I am doing it for me too, so that I can say- it was tough but not impossible. Or at least, it is tough, but I'm trying!! So I'm working out three times a week and eating with so much limitation. Blah. 
I'm trying. 
Wish me well! <3