We went to the doctor.

 

The smooth transfer, the hectic resting period, the two week wait.... this trip is not to be confused with simple or easy. As we waited in the conferencing room at my doctors office (after we delivered chocolate chip cookies) I thought to myself, "I wouldn't wish this kind of anticipation on my worst enemy." Now that I'm writing this...I might actually wish this on the mean FedEx guy from the previous blog post. 

So, sitting in the doc's office. We arrived on time for our first test, I peed in a cup, almost overflowed it and suggested to the nurse that they have lids on hand next time as I walked it across the hall to the nurse's station. Then I went back to another office to have my blood drawn. I waited and waited and there was one person in front of me so I waited. And that wait was slightly worse than the driving the car to the doctors office wait. It was the 'try not to throw up, my body is overheating, why am I sweating so much' kind of waits.

One of my nurses walked by while I was waiting my turn and she totally avoided eye contact, so I was convinced the urine test was negative. After the blood draw, I joined Matt in the conference room and waited less then half a second for the doc to swoop in and swing the door closed. She immediately handed me the test and I SAW TWO LINES!! I love that she didn't waste any time- she appreciates my love for efficiency. 

So, we hug, we cry, I keep crying and trying to talk. I seriously try to get it together, but you could see the look Dr Krause's like she's going to cry too and she just gets it. She's in the exact right line of work. Then we talk- she says, "You probably remember from last time..." I quickly replied, "I know nothing, tell me everything." I just lost all my knowledge of next steps and expectations. She goes on to explain they will call me later with HCG levels (pregnancy hormone) and then see me again in two days to measure those levels again. We want them to double every few days and then we can set up an ultrasound. 

The cool thing (well one of them) is that even though I've only been pregnant for 12 days, I'm four weeks along due to all the hormones, schedules, five day blastocysts and such. So this would be the day that I would miss a period if we had conceived naturally. Most people wouldn't even know they are pregnant yet. And I, I get to have an ultrasound in two weeks and it will be a 6 week ultrasound! 

So for now, I keep doing the estrogen three times a day, keep doing the progesterone injections nightly, keep buying those estrogen patches- basically keep everything the same because it's working! 

Turns out, those signs and symptoms I was explaining with logic really were pregnancy symptoms!!

Also, my nurse that avoided eye contact KNEW the results, was trying not to ruin the surprise because she had been crying happy tears for us and didn't want me to see her crying. :) And the rest of the staff, no joke, everyone who works at Fertility and Endocrine came out to hug and love on us. They are the BEST. 

So thank you!!! All the well wishes, prayers, thoughts, happy vibes!! Just keep ‘em coming!! We are cautiously optimistic. Extremely happy but always waiting for the next check up. 

Just a few needles, no big deal. 

And a goofy Lucy pic, because this is how I feel. Giddy! 

By the way, she has no clue. And she doesn't need to. We have been focused on potty training over Thanksgiving break and she's basically rocking it now. She is constantly singing and dancing and eating marshmallows. She will tell you all about the friends that she makes up- Eggy Veit, Etcher, Asa- yea, we have no clue where she gets these names. She helps empty the dishwasher and throws a little fit if you fold clothes without her. She's turning out to be much more helpful than I envisioned a two year old being. Her current job is turning on the Christmas lights and she takes it very seriously. She's still singing Happy Birthday every night... but more often these days we sing "Happy Birthday to Sooooooomebody, happy birthday to you!" because she understands everyone has a birthday but we don't know whose birthday it is everyday. She's the best. 

Good Golly!

By golly, I mean-what an eventful few days of "rest."

So Wednesday was normal. I went to school, taught until my guidance counselor took over at the end of the day (Huge thanks to Ashlyn for switching my class days and thank you Danielle!) When I left school, I went home to pick up Matt and we headed over to Fertility and Endocrine. It was totally uneventful and super relaxing. We waltzed in, asked questions and got great answers. We took care of  business and completed the transfer with zero hesitation. My body was cooperative and my doctors were confident. I had one job to do! Stay warm and relax! 

So we ordered a delicious meal, picked it up on the way home and Matt realized they forgot my favorite part (dessert!) sooooo being wonderful- he drove back to Louisville to get that dessert. <3 Amazon then delivered "Hilariously Infertile" a book that I had been waiting to read for just this opportunity. I finished it too quickly though- while Lucy read her library books. :) We shared dessert- even though Lucy told Matt that "momma never shares her cake with me!" And then we rested! 

Then we woke up on Thursday.... and at 6:15 our power went out. We also got the notification that school was canceled, so that was kind of funny since I wasn't going to be there anyway. Matt had to go to work anyway and Gran, (even though she didn't have power either!!) came and got Lucy. Thursday was still okay though, because it hadn't gotten too cold. I snuggled, read three more books, checked on the power outage situation and walked around the house. Gran and Dallas brought me lunch and life was chill. And then it started snowing! We joined family for a delicious dinner and cousin time. 
Things get interesting when you have no power and its time to go to bed. It's not so much the cold- who am I kidding, it was too cold- but the silence is so much worse! We put batteries in Lucy's sound machine and with fleece jammies and cuddly blankets, she was fine. I, on the other hand, slept 3 hours total. When the night finally ended, I immediately made arrangements for Friday night.  Gran's power had come back on and she picked Lucy up and I.... I had to wait on progesterone to be delivered to my house, my cold house. I decided sitting in my car with the heat on and phone charging was my best bet on getting my delivery quickly. I was so wrong. 
I kept tracking my package, which was to arrive at 10:30. Well, 10:30 came and went and the tracking on FedEx showed the deliver driver had skipped my stop. Any other day, that probably would have been fine. But when I am sitting in my car waiting and I will not be home later because there is no power, and you are supposed to be delivering the vial that I am injecting into my body every night- well, thats just not okay. So I call FedEx, get some info from dispatch- after letting them know exactly how I feel about being skipped on the delivery route.. and drive on over to where the FedEx delivery guy is chowing down on his lunch. I politely(Yea right, I was steaming) waited on him for OVER AN HOUR to finish his lunch and approach him to ask if I can get my package(essentially doing his job for him since he will no longer have to deliver it). He responds with "no" and thats just not good business either. So I continue to wait in the parking lot stating in front of the FedEx truck- lets just say, the cold was not a problem anymore.  I was trying not to stress, but after three hours of cold sleep, knowing I wouldn't be home later and needing that progesterone for later that night-it was hard to use positive intent. I didn't even say thank you. Looking back, I could've done a lot worse, but I felt super justifiably rude. 

After I got my progesterone vial, life was back to almost fine. I actually went to see Instant Family at the movie theatre by myself. It was a great movie. I am going to blame it on the hormones, lack of sleep and recent experiences but I cried, and I laughed and I cried some more. It was only a little awkward when a sweet older lady followed me out of the theatre to ask if I was okay. 
After I recovered, I was missing my baby and went to get Lucy. Then, we met friends at a new little ice cream place that was celebrating a grand opening. It was so cute, although crowded and I was looking ROUGH- so we avoided the cameras at all costs! I was able to breathe and laugh and that might've saved me! 

We waited for Matt to get done with work and went somewhere warm for the night!! A sweet, sleepy, dreamy, cozy, warm, TWELVE hours of sleep later and the world looks a lot nicer. Saturday was lovely. Lucy got to go be a big girl and see the Wizard of Oz with Beth and the girls and Matt and I saw Mike Ryan (new country band) at a small concert where we were able to sit and sing along the whole time. Sunday was fun too, lots of hanging out- also blowing the leaves, mowing the grass and doing laundry. 
It's hard not be active, but I took a picture of the doctors orders to keep reminding myself to take it easy. Three days of rest, then two weeks of just walking- no running, no horseback riding, no walking large dogs that would pull on leashes. :) I can handle that- but that means no kickball on Tuesday and that's rough.  Two weeks, I can handle two weeks! 
It makes it especially easy because we only have two days of school this week! Then Thanksgiving is happening! If I can just make it to the 28th, then I'll have some news to work with! Until then, think positive and send me patience if you have any extra! <3
I just love everyone so much! Receiving well wishes all the way from Florida in the middle of the FedEx fiasco was exactly what I needed to keep it together- KIM!!! <3 Just knowing everyone is ready and supportive and willing to be part of this is super cool. I always know you all have my back! Love to you!! 

❄️ We’re doing it! ❄️

We’re doing it!

We got the schedule for the transfer, it’s happening on Wednesday. That means bedrest on Thursday and Friday, light activity Saturday. It also means we started progesterone shots last night! (Like a champ)

I’ll continue the cocktail of vitamins- which have my nails growing like crazy! We will transfer on Wednesday and keep doing the estrogen patches, progesterone shots, more progesterone and all the vitamins.

So the patches, they worked beautifully! My first lining check was 8.3 mm, which “beats” my final lining check from last round that was 7.34. My second lining check was only two days later and I measured 9.4! Annnd there’s a middle layer of lining that was there and visible and that’s what we want for a smooth transfer.

So these patches are great- they are also expensive and of course insurance covers 0% of anything. Eight patches costs about $200 and lasts me two weeks. If the transfer works, I’ll be wearing the patches for the first 10-12 weeks. Soooooo if you’re interested in doing a t-shirt order, we are getting that started!

So after the transfer, there will be no news. There is a two week wait- dreaded in the infertility community- where you just stay busy. You don't make plans, you don't dream dreams, you just distract yourself with the present and try not to think about the results too much. 

After the two week wait, we will be cautiously optimistic and share news when we are comfortable. So just keep assuming that it worked because thats what we will do! <3 

Oh my Lucy!

  Oh my Lucy!   

She's a super fun nerd and I love everything she does (except when she runs and doesn't stop when I say stop, we’re working on that...). She is awesome though and we are obviously obsessed. She's wildly happy and already provides convincing arguments as to why she's right...but she's TWO.

    October was the busiest of times and we loved every second of it! I am relieved to get to November....We will slow down for half a second and then run around again! 

     In other news, we've got plans! Here we go again with the plans, right? Big plans, frozen embryo transfer plans!
     Gearing up with estrogen patches instead of pills and gel this time though. We're hoping the estrogen patches will provide a constant delivery of hormones instead of the highs and lows of the pills and gel. I go back to Dr. Krause on Wednesday to check my uterine lining. From there, we schedule progesterone injections (SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS) and the frozen embryo transfer. (AAAHHHH) I am so excited and scared and the good kind of nervous. I am taking all the vitamins, going with the flow and not even worrying about timing and how convenient or inconvenient any of this is. Its fine, and if its not fine- its still fine!  

This...right here. 

We waited to be "public" with the information...but I love my people and I need my people. For the best news with celebrations or for the hugs and consideration in case it's not so good news. 

All the positive vibes- thats what we need! 

Because when you can't get that thought out of your head or heart, you have to make it happen- even if it's scary. That goal stays there even after you fail and that goal is my motivation.