IVF is awesome- but also, let's be real...

     If you or anyone you know is faced with the decision of using IVF to grow their family, encourage them- and I'll encourage you- to do it! It is beautiful and all things awesome. It is mind-blowing to have science help your body make beautiful, brilliant babies. It's all things amazing!

Now, that you know how awesome IVF is, stop reading. Also, don't tell anyone that is considering IVF any of the information you are about to read....

     

     IVF is hard. And I'm not complaining, I know I am lucky. I am being real. I am also writing this to remind myself how tough this really is. It's not that I forgot from this summer or from 2015. It's just you don't remember the exact way it happens because you are so excited about the opportunity or the current successes. That is how it is most of the day right now too!

    

And then- its hard. So, if you didn't know, let me tell you a few real things about IVF. 

Gray hair is actually a common side effect. The mix of medications and hormones speed up that graying process. Of course, you want to be the best mom ever and so careful about everything you do- so there's no dying of any kind until everyone is in the clear. So these grays, they are sparkling proudly as holiday decorations in my hair. 

I itch. This is not a common symptom...I've asked and asked and asked. My skin is hyper sensitive. The lightest touch will set my skin on fire, itching and spreading. Spraying with lavender and peppermint dulls the heat, but it is intense. It is hives all day, and all over. My scalp even starts burning if I get warm or stressed- so yes, emotions help control the misery too. (I know, a small price to pay)

     Turns out, this round- I get queasy. Morning, afternoon, night, it doesn't seem to matter. If I don't have enough to eat or smell something unfavorable, all the icky feelings. Now, that may go hand in hand with any other pregnancy- I only have IVF pregnancies to compare. 

     A very IVF symptom or side effect is being so flubby. It's the hormones. I was feeling so good after losing 36 pounds, thats right, 36. Then I started shooting up progesterone and wearing estrogen patches. Then comes the other progesterone inserts. Geez- so much flub. The hormones cause you to retain fluids and just be so flubby. Thank goodness for the dress down days at school. 

Another reason to be thankful for the holiday theme dress down days- injection sight soreness. I cannot comfortably wear jeans or real pants right now. My backside right below my hips is constantly sore from the stabbing needles in my nightly routine. My skin is much less bruised this go around- there's a positive! But the soreness is worse. Sleeping always helps me find creative ways to miss laying on the sore spots. After three rounds of these shots and being totally tough, I actually cried Saturday night because it hurt so bad. This is hard. 

I also puked in the car Sunday, but why did I think sitting in the back seat was ever going to end well?? 

So I may have lost my mind, I definitely feel like a frumpy, gray haired, itchy, uncomfortable mess and I am just so tired. 

Here's the good news. I can be pretty easily distracted from all of that. Teaching does it for me. When I have 23 other bodies to keep safe and productive, I forget all about the unpleasantness. Or I scratch while directing them to the next activity. Lucy is pretty surefire distraction too. She keeps me busy with playdoh and Christmas town characters so that is doesn't matter how flubby I'm feeling, she's having fun and I forget to be mildly miserable. 

Life is good and I can handle it. But let's be real and admit that it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Thinking positive is the ONLY way to do this. So keep sending those positive vibes, I'll channel them into itch fighting vibes. :)